attachment parenting articles

Babies Need Touchby Philippa de la Haye

As published in Issue 2 of The Green Parent

What is Babywearing?

Babywearing is exactly as it sounds - wearing your baby in a sling or baby carrier. These days, most parents own some sort of baby carrier as part of their repertoire of baby equipment, but why is it such a useful thing to have? There are obviously times when a baby carrier can be more convenient than a pushchair but there is also evidence that using a sling has great impact on your baby's well-being. Why Wear your Baby?

Babies who are carried cry less

Most babies love to be carried, and babies who spend a lot of time in a sling or carrier tend to cry less than those who don't. Many new parents can find it overwhelming when their baby demands constant contact and people often worry that they are 'spoiling them' or 'making a rod for their own back'. But a newborn baby is incapable of being manipulative. When they cry at being separated from you they are simply acting in accordance with their instincts for survival. All newborn animals exhibit a protest-despair response when separated from their primary caregivers. First they cry - to bring their mother back to them. Then if their cries are not heeded they stop crying, in order to conserve the energy needed for their survival. This whole process releases huge amounts of stress hormones into the baby's body.

If you use a sling around the house this can help you to be mobile and get things done while still meeting your baby's instinctive need for your touch. This is obviously a good thing for your baby, but is also great for you. A crying baby who can't settle is extremely stressful for the whole family. As for spoiling them and building bad habits - as your baby grows and develops they will naturally want to separate and explore their environment. There is plenty of time for them to do this in confidence and security once the bond of trust has been established between you. I don't know many babies of 9 months who want to be carried all day when they can be crawling!

It's good for your baby's development

Research shows that baby-wearing has many benefits for your baby's health and development. Keeping your baby close to you provides your baby with physical contact, security, stimulation and movement. All of these things provide your baby with the ideal conditions for development. Babies in a sling spend more time in the state known as 'quiet alertness' so they are awake but contented. This is the optimal state for learning for a newborn. As your baby gets older being carried in a sling keeps them closely involved in your life. They are close to your face so can observe your expressions, hear your voice clearly. They are also given more opportunities to interact with other people as they are up high and on the same level as other adults. Whenever I'm carrying my daughter in the sling I always notice how much more other people chat to her and she loves it!

It's good for your baby's health

Newborn or premature babies who are carried in a sling against their mother's body adapt to the environment outside the womb more quickly. The close contact helps to regulate their body temperature, heartbeat and respiration. Being held in an upright or semi-upright position can help some babies with wind or colic. If you carry your baby in a sling for a while after feeding it can help them to get any wind up and prevent any pain caused by it passing through their system.

Babywearing promotes bonding

Carrying your baby close to you helps them to recognize your unique smell and the sound of your voice. The close contact enables you to learn to recognise your baby's signals more quickly which helps you to be more responsive to their needs. Babywearing can also be a special way for fathers to bond with their newborn babies. As your baby cuddles up to his Dad in a sling he learns the different sound of his voice and the feel of his body.

Your baby is only going to need you in this way for such a short time. The changes in your child from birth to a year are quite remarkable. Carry your baby close while you can and make the early months calmer and more enjoyable for all of you!

Bonding with Baby by Arabella Greatorex

Most parents bond instantly with their babies, an intense feeling that makes you want to hold and love and protect them. For some parents, this can take a little longer, especially if there has been a difficult pregnancy or labour. Research indicates that babies who develop fulfilling relationships with their parents tend to grow into secure, well-adjusted adults and even perform better at school.

Bonding is a natural process but there are many ways to help out, especially if you provide focused, responsive care in a nurturing environment.

Breastfeeding - a breastfed baby will receive regular close contact with its mother, helping an early bond to develop. Unfortunately, this is not always easy, so speak to your health visitor if you need any help or assistance.

Touch - a babys first communication is via touch, so hold your baby close, cradle her in your arms or use a sling if you need to get on with chores.

Massage - a more structured method of touching your baby and a way of promoting physical and mental growth as well as the parent/baby bond.

Singing - no matter how tone deaf you may think you are, your baby will love to hear your voice. The rhythmic nature of nursery rhymes is very soothing and is believed to help with language development.

Talk - although she may not understand what you are saying, your baby will love to hear you chatting away about what you are doing, whether it is changing her nappy, peeling the potatoes or folding the washing. She will gain confidence from the fact that you are always near and always focused upon her, even if the household chores need to be done.

Pull a face - even very young babies are fascinated by facial expressions.

Regular activities - such as nappy changing time, are a wonderful time to show your baby just how much you love them. Talk to her, kiss her tummy, tell how what lovely dimples she has, how much you love her smile. This will take your mind off what a messy job it is and show that you love her, no matter what.

Slow down - life is getting faster and faster but slow and steady is best for baby. Stop and spend time with your baby, relax and enjoy yourself, your baby will love you no matter what.

Arabella Greatorex is the owner of www.naturalnursery.co.uk, an online store selling organic and fairly traded products for families including organic clothing and nappies, fairly traded toys and natural toiletries.

Co-sleeping, a personal story by Arabella Greatorex

When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some fairly fixed ideas about how we wanted to raise our child, including allowing her to share our bed for as long as she wanted to. We have been shocked and sometimes upset at other peoples reaction to what seemed to be a very instinctive decision, to sleep with our daughter. I am often made to justify this decision and made to feel as if we are 'bad' parents just because we hadnt trained her to sleep in a cot in her own room by 8 weeks old.

As it happens, we didnt even really talk about it, it just seemed the right and natural thing to do and offered some major advantages. Our daughter loved the constant contact and it made it so much easier to breastfeed during the night. By simply rolling over and letting her feed before either of us were fully awake, we were both able to drift back to sleep much quicker than if I had had to get up to feed, so everyone got extra sleep.

Many studies have shown that co-sleeping helps to establish breastfeeding and leads to a more settled and happy baby. Others claim that these benefits can last for years and that children who slept with their parents do better at school, have higher self-esteem, fewer health issues and is more likely to be well adjusted than their peers.

We know this goes against many bestselling books on parenting, such as Gina Ford and Richard Ferber but we are convinced that this was the right decision for us and for our daughter. Personally, I believe that night time should be about nurturing and closeness, not about training for the realities of later life.

Yes, there can be some downsides to co-sleeping, but most can be overcome with a few adjustments, such as buying a bigger bed. There have been many reported studies into the dangers of co-sleeping, the most recent published early this year in the Lancet. La Leche League, amongst others, claim that they are flawed as they do not distinguish between safe (following current guidelines re temperature, soft bedding etc) and unsafe (eg on a sofa or with parents who smoke or drink alcohol) co-sleeping.

Our daughter is very independent already (at 13 months) and I am convinced that this is due to all the extra nurturing and contact that she receives during the nights. At some stage, she will decide that she wants her own bed and she will be welcome to it. But in the meantime all three of us love the extra time we get together and there is nothing more wonderful than being woken by a kiss from your baby and seeing just how happy they are to be so close to you. I know that in this way we have created many special moments that we all treasure.

What ever you personally decide, do make sure you follow the latest advice re safe sleeping for your baby. Much of it is commonsense, but the following guidelines should help:

Always put your baby to sleep on their back.
Use a firm mattress and never co-sleep on a waterbed or on a sofa.
Do not use a pillow for your baby and always make sure that your baby's head is clear of your pillows and bedding. This will reduce the risk of smothering and overheating.
Do not sleep with your baby if you smoke, have drunk alcohol or have taken any drugs which make you drowsy.
Do not give your baby a pillow, and ensure that his head is not covered by the duvet or the sheets. Either of these could smother him.
Use bedding that tightly fits the mattress and make sure there are no gaps between the bed and the headboard where they could become trapped.

If you are unsure or need further advice, always speak to your GP or Health Visitor.

Articles by Lisa Cole can be reproduced with permission as long as they are credited and linked to to www.lactivist.co.uk. Please let me know if you want to use one of them.

questions? comments? mail me
all designs and text copyright www.lactivist.co.uk 2004